I attained a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Master's degree in Counselling Psychology, in 2007, from the University of British Columbia, where I was also a teaching and research assistant.

I work extensively developing and giving workshops, training professionals and counselors, and in private practice providing short and long term counselling for adults, families, couples, and adolescents in the following areas:

• Marriage and Relationship
• Family and Parenting
• Depression and Resiliency
• Trauma, Anxiety and Stress Management
• Anger and Dealing with Difficult People
• Career Development, Burnout, and Retirement
• Grief and loss
• Addiction and Recovery
• Critical Incident Responding

Grief and Loss

Grief is common to us all, however, how we grieve, is a very individual experience. My focus is in familiarizing you with your process of grieving and helping you reorganize your emotional life with grief as a predominant character. Grief can be alienating, to our former self, as well as to those closest to us. My role is to help you integrate your grief in a functional way.

Anger and Dealing with Difficult People

We are all thoroughly emotional beings. We were not all fortunate enough to be coached from birth on how to handle our emotions, especially the big ones, like anger. My role is in helping you learn to regulate your feelings in order for those spikes of anger to become less overwhelming. It is never too late to integrate these skills.

Depression and Resiliency

As human beings, we mostly ignore the flashing red engine light warning us that a tune up is in order. We put our heads down and keep going and before we know it we're just not functioning right. My role in helping you through depression is reconnecting you with your needs: emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, relational, and occupational, so that you become your best champion in meeting your needs and feeling more connected to yourself and others.

Family and Parenting

As a mother of two, I am constantly witnessing my theoretical background as a counsellor flying out the window. Parenting tests our mettle by the minute, and even the hardiest of us all, get bent. I use an attachment based parenting approach, whereby our bond and connection to our children is primary. Together we work to establish this trust and connection, and all else follows, not necessarily easily, but with conscious choice and understanding of our actions and reactions. I use a collaborative approach for older families, attempting to engage all family members in responsibility and unity.

Career Development, Workplace Conflict and Retirement

Career development has progressed away from computer generated test scores and more along the lines of inquiry to individual likes and tendencies. This is the approach I adopt. Together we complete a Career Development Workbook, uncovering inclinations and passions using exploration and connection to self and others as our tools. Once up to 3 career choices have been made, a referral to Workplace BC is often helpful for the next steps in market and career research for your choices.

Workplace conflict is a highly stressful reality for many of us. We often spend more time with our work colleagues than with our own families, and conflicts are inevitable. We work together to identify conflict patterns that are often astoundingly similar to our family of origin and we identify triggers that create our reactions to the conflict. Our goal is to develop mastery of our reactions, releasing us for the conflict cycle.

At the end of our long, sometimes illustrious, sometimes challenging careers, we face retirement. For some these are the golden years but for others these years are the end of road with very few new beginnings. My role is in preparing you emotionally and psychologically for your retirement years to bring you fulfillment and enjoyment.

Anxiety and Stress Management

We are far more primitive in our reactions than we like to think, and fear, stress, or anxiety, can go from an adaptive warning to a very non adaptive over reaction, arresting our ability to function. We focus first on understanding the body's reaction during anxiety and then developing skills to over-ride the anxiety response. Using a mindfulness approach, staying connected with our needs, and focusing on resiliency, anxiety can be tamed.

Marriage and Relationship Counselling

My role as a couple's therapist is to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team.

The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partner’s patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying connected during and after the storm.

Addiction and Recovery

If we all arrived on earth with an owner’s manual, it would be far easier to discover the best way to cope with the onslaught of challenges we face as we grow and develop. Instead we stumble along, often grabbing at crutches that may soothe us for a while, but end up bringing us to our knees.

My role in addiction recovery is helping you find positive soothing habits, helping you learn to regulate your emotions thereby decreasing the emotional roller coaster, and helping you stay connected to your needs so that your positive self remains in the drivers seat.

My Method

One of my predominant counselling approaches is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which I use particularly for marital distress, because:

• Research shows a 70% recovery rate from marital distress in 10-12 sessions
• A 90% rate of significant improvement, compared with a 35% recovery rate for couples receiving other mainstream approaches.
• It is brief, usually implemented in 8-12 sessions
• It helps take people from alienation to emotional engagement:
  • From vigilant defense and self protection to openness and risk taking
  • From helplessness to active choice
  • From blaming to understanding
  • From a focus of the flaws of others, to a discovery of one's own fears and longings
  • And most of all from isolation to connectedness.

I believe you have the wisdom to find your answers. My role is as a collaborator, I sometimes follow, I sometimes lead, with the aim of providing opportunities for you to relate to yourself, your partner, or your family members with more conscious choice of the kind of relationship you wish to create.

My role is in helping you process your emotions, thoughts, and actions, highlighting your needs (physical, emotional, relational, mental, spiritual, occupational) and bringing to light the most constructive and resilient way to connect and grow as an individual, partner, and family member.

My Professional Experience Includes

• Family Services EAP (Employer Assistance Programme) core team counselor
• Workshop presenter in goal setting, retirement, stress management, critical incident responding, dealing with difficult people, and resilience.
• Trainer for counselors in Critical Incident Stress Response
• Group therapist at Pacifica Treatment Centre
• Private practice counsellor

I am additionally certified in:

• Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
• Critical Incident Responding
• Critical Incident Trainer
• Imago Relationship Therapy
• Infidelity Recovery
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
• Psychological First Aid
• Violence Prevention
• Safety in the Workplace
• Adolescent Suicidality
• Appreciative Inquiry

Feedback

Feedback from anonymous outcome questionnaires attests that "Alexia was fabulous - knowledgeable, articulate, personable", "she used an approach that really worked for me", "discreet, kind, non-judgemental", "highly skilled", "had the ability to make me feel comfortable".